My life changed in an instant in 2009 when my husband, Seth, was in an automobile accident, which left him incapacitated with a traumatic brain injury. This life-altering experience led me to start the 820 Foundation as a way to educate, inspire, and empower individuals to see end-of-life planning as a part of life. My hope is to use this tragedy to help others avoid the pitfalls of putting emergency planning on the back burner.
The spring after the accident, my son Tucker and I were moved into a new house. It was still coming together as I was having an impossible time picking out colors or making even the smallest decisions. It was hard to feel this dream coming true without Seth. I just wanted him with me. I wanted to go back in time and stop the accident somehow. I wanted so badly for Seth to get to move into this house with us.
Selling the old house was a massive ordeal because of the court system that had to be heavily involved to protect Seth. Remember that I was still sharing the decision-making process with the guardian ad litem and the court. I had to prove that selling the house was in Seth’s interest and that he would benefit from the sale equally with me. Having to run everything through the courts made me feel like Seth constantly needed to be protected from me. Me. I’d dedicated my life to him in sickness and in health, but that didn’t matter now. We hadn’t planned for the worst, so the worst would threaten to take us down. Having a DPA in place would have saved us this experience, but that concept was never introduced to us, so we were stuck in this feedback loop. It felt infinite.
We never expect a life-altering accident or a swift, irreversible change to our lives and our capacities. Yet, they happen every day. Being prepared and having a plan, even just a basic one, can make the difference between peace of mind for you and your loved ones and battling the courts, doctors, and legal representatives for your wishes to be respected. That’s why it’s important to start end of life and emergency planning rather than put it off. To help you, we’ve compiled a list of things you can do to get started!
1. Talk to your loved ones about end of life and emergency planning.
It’s arguably the hardest step: acknowledging that the worst-case scenario could one day happen and you need to be ready. But it’s also one of the most important steps to starting your end of life and emergency plan. At every stage of planning, it’s good to make sure your loved ones and chosen representatives (whether they are executors, powers of attorney, beneficiaries, etc.) know what you’re thinking and how you want your wishes to be carried out. It’s also a huge step in reminding yourself that you’re not alone in this, and your loved ones want to be involved in your care.
For more help with having these conversations, the 820 Foundation has a few blogs here and here that you should check out!
2. Take a look at your assets.
Most people underestimate how many assets they have, which can cause problems down the line. Even if it’s not a perfect assessment, sitting down and listing your assets (properties, cars, family heirlooms, prized possessions, savings accounts, retirement funds, etc.) can help give you a clear picture of what you’re working with and what you need to consider when drafting a will.
Read this article on all things assets for a more detailed breakdown.
3. Book an appointment with your lawyer.
There are a lot of great free resources out there, and they are great places to start when writing a will or thinking of end of life planning. But nothing beats the expert advice of a legal professional. Lawyers can help you figure out exactly what you need for your specific situation, and can recommend additional documents, protections, and options to set you up as best as possible.
Looking for the right lawyer? We’ve got a list of essential questions to ask attorneys so you know they’re the best fit for you.
4. Draft a will.
It doesn’t have to be perfect, or even close. But having a draft of a last will and testament is a huge help when you have to finalize these documents. A draft may not be ready for the notary, but it’s a good place to write down all the things you want to consider and include in your will. Freewill.com is a great resource to use to get started!
**Keep in mind that a draft of a will is not an officially recognized document and will not be permissible in court. It’s good to use as a brainstorming tool, but wills, medical directives, and other end of life planning documents do have legal requirements for them to be valid. Requirements vary state to state, so reaching out to a legal professional is always the best practice to ensure your documents are complete and valid.
5. Don’t forget about your health and medical care.
A lot of discussions around end of life and emergency planning revolve around finances and assets, but your health and your medical care are huge parts of your plan. In some cases, an advanced medical directive may be needed. In others, a living will should be included. No matter what you need, it’s important that you also take time to think about your health care as a part of your end of life plan.
We also have some great resources on medical directives and living wills if you need a starting point.
However you get started, the most important thing is that you’re taking control of your wellbeing and making sure you and your loved ones are taken care of.
We are not providing legal advice. All estate planning varies from state to state. Please seek an attorney in your state for specific information and details.