Would you want to know what happens in the last chapter of a book before you ever start reading it? I know this might sound completely insane in some reading circles, but I do, and I’ll tell you why. Sometimes it only takes reading the last paragraph, but whether it is the whole last chapter or merely the last line, reading the ending before I start the first page enhances my entire journey through the book. My head instantly stops reeling over whether Malcolm and Amanda stay together after the affair or whether Daniel’s son dies after the surfing accident. I find that a purposeful interest in how a story concludes allows a certain measure of preparation. Instead of skimming over words in an angst-filled anticipation of whether Daniel’s son lives to compete in the North Shore Surf Competition, I already know that he doesn’t make it to that tournament. This knowledge gives permission to slow down and soak up every detail about his adventures, because I know that’s where the lessons lie in this particular book, not necessarily in the fairytale ending. Yes, happy endings are nice, but they are certainly not guaranteed. It seems that all too often, we assume that there will be this uplifting, feel-good outcome, or maybe we never even slow down long enough to consider the conclusion at all.
When applied to life, this metaphor says something startling about the way many of us live. We wake up each day with a long stretch, a yawn, and a wiggle of our toes without any thought about what’s to come. No, I’m not talking about the meetings we’ll attend, the tasks on our to-do lists, or the meals we need to prep. I mean, what’s to come when it’s all over? What does our final chapter, paragraph, and sentence look like? We go through life with blinders on, as if doing so will mean the end will never come.
I’m not saying that I want to know the particulars about my last chapter, but let’s be honest. They say two things are unavoidable: death and taxes. I’m pretty sure you can dodge paying your taxes (although ten out of ten lawyers and accountants do not recommend it). Death is the only completely unavoidable thing that happens to us all. Yet, culturally, we tend to dodge and even ignore the topic altogether, sometimes right until the very end.
We plan everything else in our lives. We make itineraries for our travels. We devise strategic weight-loss regimens. We institute goals in our careers. We research recipes and meal prep. We hang hourly schedules on the refrigerator for our children. Planning not only takes the thinking out of things but also helps us prepare for the obstacles that will inevitably arise when our plans go awry, and we all know a good contingency plan goes a long way. Yet, the one thing most of us do not plan for is death. Whether it’s the result of a tragedy or the natural ageing process, everyone is going to be faced with the end, and with it, end-of-life decisions. Many people don’t realize that you can either choose to make those decisions for yourself ahead of time, or you can choose to let whoever is present in that moment make them for you. A third option is to designate ahead of time who will get to make those decisions for you if you can’t make them for yourself. I tell you from experience, this is a gift that you give to your loved ones when you make those decisions for yourself.
One of the most common questions about end-of-life and emergency planning is: What do I need? The essentials are your bare-minimum documents and plans in place to ensure that you and your loved ones are covered no matter what happens.
But how do you determine your essentials? Every person and situation is different, but here are a few tips to figure out where to start.
1. Do you have dependents?
If you have children, family members you’re responsible for, or even pets, then it’s important to consider guardianship and how to incorporate guardian provisions into your plan should something happen to you (and/or a spouse). If you have a special needs child, you should consult an attorney to discuss a Special Needs Trust, also known as a Supplemental Needs Trust, to protect your assets and theirs.
2. Do you have assets?
Most people underestimate how many assets they have; asset and estate documents don’t only apply to properties or large-scale items, but also personal belongings, bank accounts, savings, retirement plans, pensions, and so much more. It’s a good idea to sit down and create a list of all the assets and belongings you have to build a plan for distribution and dispersal should something happen to you.
3. Do you have specific medical plans you want followed?
Are there religious, cultural, or personal practices you want followed or carried out in your medical care? These are details that should be included in your plan so that your loved ones and/or executors can ensure your wishes are followed. An advanced medical directive is a key document that works as instructions to your loved ones, family members and physicians about the type of care you want if and when you have a terminal or irreversible condition from which you are not expected to recover. Keep in mind that an advanced medical directive is different from a DNR (Do Not Resuscitate) order, and outlines the extent and kinds of care you wish to receive.
4. Do you have specific plans or requests for your funeral and/or memorial?
Are there religious, cultural, or personal practices and/or ceremonies you’d like included in your funeral and/or memorial? If so, it can help to include these plans or wishes in your end-of-life or emergency plan. Whether it’s pre-planning services and arrangements to ensure everything is covered, or providing detailed plans outlining your wishes for your loved ones and/or executors, including these funeral considerations, is another way to ensure your wishes are honored.
5. Are you instructing loved ones to carry out your final wishes?
If yes (which many, if not most, people do), it may also be a good idea to think about either having conversations with them about your plans and documents before any life-changing emergency or health matter, or consider recording your final wishes and/or messages to your loved ones. It can be easier for loved ones to carry out healthcare directives when they hear your wishes directly from you, so a recording or an in-person conversation about your wishes can be helpful for both you and your loved ones.
6. Should you consider the need for a living will, as well as your last will and testament?
A living will handles all legal considerations, naming of executors and legal agents, should you be incapacitated (unable to make decisions) but still alive. A last will and testament comes into effect after death, but it may be worth including a living will to cover the possibility of incapacitation as well.
These questions can help you determine what essential documents and plans you should have for a robust, all-encompassing end-of-life and emergency plan that protects and honors your wishes, while providing as much detail and clarity for your loved ones and executors.
We are not providing legal advice. All estate planning varies from state to state. Please seek an attorney in your state for specific information and details.