When my husband was in a life-altering accident in 2009, our world was flipped on its head. What added to the pain was the fact that I now had to apply for emergent guardianship. Since Seth and I didn’t have our planning in place, I wasn’t automatically granted any rights over decision-making or over his care. This was my first visit with a guardian ad litem whose job it was to come spend time with Seth and me and make sure that he really was incapable of making his own decisions and that I wasn’t trying to defraud anyone. The man was so kind, reassuring me all the way, but the notion of proving just how bad things were created a tornado of emotions within me that swept me through life with my feet barely touching the ground.
After what seemed like endless, tedious work on top of my already overflowing list of responsibilities, the application had been approved, but I knew it only lasted 90 days. This meant my stomach was constantly knotted thinking about the days ticking by when I’d have to go through the process again—this time in a courtroom with representation, supporting documents, and the need to prove I was capable and worthy of guardianship. Never in a million years did I imagine myself going to court to prove my love, devotion, and steady heart for Seth. The thought was almost too much to bear.
It’s not easy to bring up end-of-life or emergency planning with your nearest and dearest. Understandably, just the thought of having those conversations can be anxiety-inducing for so many of us.However, having these conversations early and often can truly be the difference between creating as much peace as possible in the midst of an emergency or a stressful process of your loved ones guessing your wishes. So, we’ve put together a few tips to help you know when it’s time to start these conversations!
Your Health Has Changed
As your health changes, it’s a good time to reflect and think about what kind of care and plans you want in place – best discussed with loved ones! It’s also a good catalyst to think about who you want to be in charge of your care, should you become incapacitated. Having these conversations while you’re in good health can ensure that you are clear about your wishes and can communicate them to a trusted person.
You’re Getting Married, or Committing to a Partner
Joining your life to a partner’s is always a good time to have a conversation about all the what-ifs life can bring. It’s also a great time to sit down and talk to each other about all the aspects that may need to be considered in the event of an emergency or rapid changes to your well-being. Plus, it’s a chance to get to know one another better in a vulnerable space, exploring these important details.
There’s A Big Change In Your Life
Whether it’s growing your family, changing jobs, moving, or getting older, periods of change are a good time to discuss end-of-life and emergency planning. At each stage of your life, different documents or plans may need to be made, so it’s also a good idea to revisit these conversations with your loved ones as your life changes. To see what documents may be needed at different life stages, check out our blog post here.
For some helpful conversation starters and tips on how to talk to your loved ones about end-of-life and emergency planning, read our other blog here!
We are not providing legal advice. All estate planning varies from state to state. Please seek an attorney in your state for specific information and details.